Tuesday, 27 February 2018

Snowpocalypse eadlines

Kent officially listed as ‘missing’ 
Army of naked albino’s mysteriously vanishes  
Martial law declared in Gloucester 
Riots in Aldi as shoppers fight for last remaining ‘gloves & hat’ promotion. 
Feral zombie sledgers sighted in Sheffield 
Wolves seen searching for food in Wallsall 
‘Winter is Coming’ memes crash Facebook 
Kate Windsor wears a dress 
White Walkers spotted in Wimbledon 
Archaeologists discover the original ‘Snowman’ in Swindon 
Mr Tumnus glimpsed entering DFS wardrobe department 
Jack Frost arrested after being caught on CCTV vandalizing windows  
Social media now approximately 98% pictures of snow 
Prince’s William & Harry baffled by their partners request for new dresses
Polar bears and penguins avoiding each other

Yeti’s spotted in Yeovil 
Trolls complain about cross-bridge tariffs 
Live-action production of “Frozen” announced in Fleetwood - Army deployed 
Vanilla Ice re-releases seminal track “Ice, Ice Baby’ 
Horrified reporters assured that Doncaster always looks that bad
Kate Windsor & Megan Markle wear different dresses
Snowmen march on Westminster complaining about the price of noses & eyes
Supermarket launches ill-advised ‘barbecue weather’ promotion 
Northern man nearly goes out without his hat 
Naked rambler complains about loss of assets
'Yellow snow' starts trending on social media
'Flat white’ takes on a different meaning in Hoxton

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