The death list (updated)

The 2017 Death List [to be updated as & when]

• Graham Taylor
• Gene Cernan (the last bloke to walk on the moon)
• Rachael Heyhoe-Flint
• Mary Tyler-Moore 
• Tam Dalyell 
• John Hurt 
• Joost Van Der Westhuizen 
• Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
• Bill Paxton 
• John Surtees 
• Gerald Kaufmam 

Leicester create history yet again

Shock news during the Spurs v Gent match that Leicester had sacked Claudio Ranieri!

That's the manager who led them to a fairytale, 5000-1, title sacked just 9 months later.

Granted they are in trouble but, added to the fact tht he was the man who won them the biggest thing in their entire history, they could be 90 minute away from the last 8 of the CL.

It's mde a lot of neutrals & other fans who backed the Foxes last year want them to go down and some fans threatening a boycott. Way to go owners!

Interestingly, Ranieri is the 4th title winner to be fired from their job the followingseason. Out of Mancini, Bog-face, Maureen, Pellegrini & Ranieri ony the Chilean was still at the club more than 16 months later (though, granted, Bog-face retired).

There were lots of stories that the the Tinkerman had 'lost the dressing room' & players had asked the owners to get rid of him. Stories that Vardy et al angrily disputed. In fact they were so angry the took a couple of days after he was fired to deny the claims. Currently Hiddink & Mancini are favourites to take over. I hope whoever is permanent manager & owners tell the players that they wont be getting an escape in the event of relegation and that they'll have to play in the Championship.

To add to the fun, LCFC play Liverool in the next game and they might have a new manager & get the new manger 'bounce' that generally confers. Fucking great.

Storm Doris Day

Storm Doris was a tad breezy. Made this up to mark StormDorisDay

Reprieved ...?

After year of fucking about, Bellend and Shithead Nicholls' decision finally came into contact with democracy. And, it seems, came off second best.

After £30k spent on Cuntdip and 2 sub-committee's off the agenda, the decision as referred to the College's Committee. We were, ironically, doing a graduation on the same day as the committee met. We were wondering whether this would be the last one and weren't reassurred when Tim Milner legged it. Carl didn't know anything either.

Towards the end of the day Prealector for Wolfson came over to talk to Phil. He said he'd been told by the master that there'd been a long meeting (went on till 13.00) and that the decision could be summed up as 'No Change'!

The happiness that these words engendered was huge. Means that Mick & Phil still have a job (and Natalie still has a job to returnn to after the secondment). Months of stress and worry appears to be over at last. It's not official yet but we doubt anything will be put in writing (nothing about closing was). On the downide it does mean that we'll have to do GA etc after all LOL.

The decision (if confirmed/not denied) does raise a few things though:

• It's a serious loss of face for Martin Bellend as he desn't want PandIS & tried to get it closed down. Now he's going to face up to the fact that he'slost that and that we are staying.
• It's probably a blow for Knobhed Nicholls hopes of a cash bung from E&R.
• With the Cockcroft building due for closure in the summer, he (or more likely Sue) will have to figure out where we're going to move to (though might not be a rush as security's new building isn't ready yet).
• There'll be a political fight over accomodation over room for PandIS/other's losing space. Thre's also the issue of where stock and associated stuff will be stored.
• It's diminished Steve R's authority as he doesn't seem to have gone out of his way to help protect his staff (which hasn't gone unnoticed).
• Neville wont be happy. Not only is he not going to get redundancy, he may have to work full-time now (as Nat off doing secondment). He may now want to do this (understatement) and he may have to decide when to retire (can go to 67 but he doesn't want to go to 65).

Still, it's a weight of a lot of people's shoulders and now we can make some plans for the future (eg, dry processor to replace sickly Noritsu, new laminator unit etc)

Update AM 20/02/17: Seems the wazzock from Wolfson got the wrong end of the stick.

What seems to have been promised (by the university) was that the college’s would see no change following privatisation (ie not the same thing at all).

Phil is going to try and find out what the actual decision actually was ...

Paul Nuttall

So he wasn't on the board of a training charity.

He doesn't have a PhD.

He wasn't a pro footballer at Tranmere Rovers.

He didn't lose "close personal friends' at Hillsborough.

He did say that to the BBC prior to it being on his website, which he allowed his PR lady to take the blame for (looks like she just copied & pasted from the Beeb's site).

He doesn't appear to have lived at the address on his nomination papers (which is an offence & is being investigated by the rozzers).

His website no longer exists (though there are lots of cached versions around).

He actually ducked out of a hustings in Stoke because he knew he'd be quizzed on Hillsborough & his claims to have been there.

The Independent produced a brilliant cartoon

To make matters worse:

i) a women in Stoke caught a campaign worker pissing up the side of her house & was threatened when she told him off

ii) UKIP tweeted a picture of their #peoplesarmy campaigning in Stoke. Only for people to point out that the building in the background was in Bolton. #MassiveFail

Trump: a new week, a new fuck-up

 A "fine-tuned machine"

Trump held one of the most bizzare press-conferences in history on Thursday. He asked a black reporter if she knew & could arrange a meeting with coloured members of congress, attacked the pres & claimed that his administration was running like a fine-tuned machine.


Cue much social media shenanigans: Here's 2 from me

The press conference was so disasterous that the new nominee for the NSA post withdrew his candidature too.

#SwedenIncident

During a rally on Saturday* Lord Dampnut mentioned an attack in Sweden the previous night.

Which came as news to the Swedes.

Yep! Much like the #BowlingGreenMassacre it never happened.

Something that was pointed out bu Emma, the librarian who was curating the @Sweden account at the time. She ended up doing a lot of media interviews.

Cue much piss-taking on social media. References to Ikea, Abba & the Swedish Chef from the Muppets abounded.

Trump later claimed that he'd seen it on Fox News. That's right: the President gets his briefings from TV and, while attacking the media for "fake news" quoted a "fake news" story.

Funnier was Fox News responding that they had no idea what story he claimed to have seen. More worrying a load of his grunting nutty supporters took time out from wanking themselves to claim that the Swedes were covering it up!

* Why was he holding a 'rally' in Florida. You'd think he'd know that he's got a few years before the next electoral cycle and, in any case, you'd have thought he'd be a tad busy running the country, getting positions in his cabinet filled.

Beer Saturday + History

While Lou was at the theatre with Hazel, John & Lady Muck I went to the library to read. Disturbed by dumb slag taking calls on her mobile (despite sitting right next the notice about no mobile/quiet study area notice), then kids running about shouting, then 2 old chaps having a conversation.

Stupid twats who all should get the bloody pox!

Decided, as it was noisy, I might as well go to the pub!

Ambled down to the St Radigund's and found a space at the bar for a nice pint of "London Pride". Read & checked on the footy.

Lincoln only bloody knocked out Burnley! They're the 1st non-league team to reach the 1/4 finals since 1914!

Even better, the goal scorer, Sean Raggett, said after the game: ""No time for celebrations, we've got North Ferriby away on Tuesday” LOL!

Stayed in Raddies until Lou joined, Then stayed some more. Then quite a bit more. Finally staggered homewards around 20.00.

Grrrrrrrr! MSM

So came in Friday AM to dumb bint, Natalie Angle, asking if could 'cut the white bits off'. Told her no so she said to go ahead. While those were printing Lynn sent 4 jobs over to run out. Just a 105 books to printed, punched and bound (80 to go to the NMS too).

Grrrrrrrr!

Plodded on with other stuff for Megan and then, at 15.00, Emma phones up with an urgent job wanted by 16.30. Needed urgently as she was off on holiday next week. Stopped Megan's & set it going.

It didn't fucking work!

Grrrrrrrr!

Kept crashing, jamming flattening out all the imagemasks, font errors etc. Having tried lots of variations I set it printing over the weekend.

Came in on Monday and it seemed to have worked: 90 page file on the server so sent it over (having taken the precaution of duplicating it).

It didn't fucking work! Printed a handful of pages & then error messages.

Grrrrrrrr!

Tried extracting as separate files and it nearly worked. Except a shitload of pages were missing.

Grrrrrrrr!

The lecturer sent over a load of split files which all crashed too.

Found a out that it was a graphic on page 3 that was the problem. Bruce finally (after trying stuff I'd done) hit on idea of exporting problem page, opening it in PS, saving as a tiff, putting tiff into ID, saving that as a PDF & putting that back into the file. Which worked.

Ran a proof up and got a message back at just before 12 saying that while it generally looked OK but some of the images were blurred (how he can tell this of graphs smaller than a stamp I don't know!). So more playing about...

Grrrrrrrr!

All this for a file that was, according to Jess Gwynne, Emma had had since 06/02 and they'd asked for a proof for.

That 09.00 Tuesday deadline is getting nearer....

Update: Bruce printed another & will take it up when goes 'home for lunch'. Did offer to take it @ 11.55  bit he rejected offer. He finally left for MSM at 12.55!

Update 2: Chased Chris at 15.44 and he sent back the same email as earlier. Said there's a new proof. He finally realised and found them, giving OK at 16.30.

Hope it's not raining 1st thing tomorrow!

[Update: Jessica cam and picked them up at 08.10]

We actually fucking won!

Liverpool 2 - 0 Tottenham

We finally rediscovered our mojo and, aided by some hapless errors by the Spurs defence, we actually scored. Mane got a brace 2 minutes apart and only an excellent save (one of many) from Loris prevented him getting hos hat-trick in 6 minutes.

Huge relief and now there's no game for 2 weeks, the squad's off to Spain for some warm weather training/R&R. Hopefully we'll come back firing on all cylinders and recreate our early season form.

Just remembered: bouncing bottoms

just remembered: last Saturday we went over to the Grafton Centre and as we were walking down the avenue on Jesus Green we were swarmed by loads of students running against cancer.

I was so distracted by all the young ladies lycra-clad bottoms bouncing around me that I nearly forgot how to walk!

Taking the piss part 99994591

Out to see the bank manager (for a 'financial health check') at around 12.20.

Email at 15.08 to say that he's "Just trying to track down a lost policy... will be back soonish."

15.21 still no sign.

15.41 still no sign.

15.48 finally turned up.

15.49 Picked up mug & went for coffee.

 Back from 'coffee break' at 16.20.

LOL! And Mancs call us robbers!

Well that's that for PandIS ... Maybe

Phil came in and said that it's been confirmed that PandIS is closing. The only thing left is the timing.

Natalie is going on a secondment to Comms (though Loren thought it was something else - working with Ed Webster). Steve R rather stupidly said she could still do Saturday's. Which is daft as who'll do the printing?

Update: It's now going to ANOTHER committee. It's going to be discussed at the full college's committee at the end of February. Which gives 3 weeks to find out who is on it & lobby against the decision.

If they agree with the closure, then April 1st could, appropriately, be the last one (as no Natalie). If they agree to keep us then it might be permanent but it might be until October.

There's also the issue of Natalie's secondment: if the job she's seconded to is abolished in her absence is that legal? Where does it leave her?

Neville wont be happy either as he'll be doing it all (and he's part-time) plus the Noritsu is dying too.

Steve R also told Phil that Mick's redeployment (promised by Sue etc) would have to be confirmed by Dr No as UIS will now be paying him & need to ensure that he'll bring in enough doing posters etc....

As usual in the University, the RFA method is being employed: Ready! Fire! Aim!

Or, we'll make the decision, then consult with people....

I do think that Sue, Steve, Martin et al have badly let Phil, Natalie, Mick & Neville. As Donald T might say' "Very unprofessional. Sad."

The Bowling Green Massacre

So Kellyanne Conway was being interviewed about Trumpanzee's muslim ban. She justified it by stating that  Obama had banned Iraqi refugees after 'the Bowling Green Massacre'. She added that it hadn't been widely covered.

Which wasn't a real surprise given that she had just made it up .. Sorry, gave an 'alternative fact'.

[Linky: Bowling Green Massacre Lie ]

Equally unsurprising was the reaction to this brazen whopper of an untruth.

From me:

Kellyanne Conway provides photographic proof of the #BowlingGreenMassacre she completely didn’t make up to justify her bosses ban. "Look at all these evil muslimic terrorists!", she said. "Just look at them playing with their koranic bombs!"

 Just one (of hundreds) from twitter:

Out for 90 minutes

Then, to make up, typing like...

Before going back to working on his music.

Nay fucking surprise

The decision to bend over & spread those arse cheeks has been rubber stamped by the clowncil.

Cue 3+ years of fucking mess, dangerous lorry-loads of building materials going round the small 1-way system so that some twats from Scum Edwards College can have a nice room.

Hope when some poor old dear from the folks home etc get's run over the blame goes directly to everybody involved in this. And that they burn in hell.

Fuckers.

Gobblers Knob Day

Fraud or something very much like it

So it turns out that the address that Paul Nutbag put down as his residence on the official electoral papers isn't his address. In fact the dunny-diver admitted that he'd never even been there.

It's also got a 'to let' sign outside.

Not totally sure but isn't lying on an official form fraud? He could be in trouble with the police never mind the electoral commission.

In fact The Representation of the People Act (2000) says something like

It would be in no way funny of he was struck off the list of candidates for the Stoke bye-election.

Probably not so funny for the poor fuckers who would have to pull long shifts re-printing the ballot papers though.

I actually hope that the house is let to a family of asylum seekers. When questioned by the press they could say that Nuttless is the delusional muggle who lives under the stairs.

Meanwhile this appeared in Stoke...