The Sporting Weekend

The last time Hull beat Arsenal in the league was in 1915 - beer cost 3p a pint and the Women's Institute was founded.

The last time Tottenham had such a bad start to the season was 1955 - the year that the US sent the first advisors to Vietnam and the year that Rosa Parks started the civil rights movement.

Massa driving off with the fuel line attached wasn't fantastically mirth-inducing either (and the sight of corpulent mechanics running down the pit-lane didn't in any way cause chortling)!

Just a quick note to say that the email address of the site has changed (due to continuing problems accessing the address that came with the site) to icphotographsdotcom@gmail.com

Well the holidays are over and it's back to work in the rain ..... boo!

Have also done a few weddings - more details on these when I get a moment.

Sport v The Olympics

I've always had a nagging doubt over the Olympics: how is twatting about with a ribbon consistent with the origins of the games?

I think I have thought of the answer to this conundrum - use the 'higher, faster, further' maxim.  

In short, the only events allowed in the main games are those where there is an objective method of measurement of which competitor is the best.  Whoever runs fastest, shoots more clay pigeons, scores the most goals etc will win a gold medal, the next best gets a silver and so on.  These would be deemed as sports.

Any events where the result is open to 'interpretation' (and abuse) will be barred from the main games.  Those events which depend on some judges deciding whether who won (on the basis of whether their toe was 1/20th of a degree out of line while spinning upside-down) would become a exhibition or fringe event.

For those who say that's unfair to exclide 'artistic events, I ask where should we stop? Should flower arranging be an Olympic event (it's open to interpretation)?  What about wood-carving, ballroom dancing or parachuting? Why not include surfing, kite-flying or gardening ..... ?

So twatting about with a ribbon or waving your legs/arsehole out of the pool would no longer count and we can all concentrate on trying to guess which runner has taken what......

(Rant over)

Good news everyone!

As Professor Farnsworth might say.



I've had contact from Addenbrookes Hospital asking if they can use some of my photographs in the new treatment unit.



More information when I get it :-)

The Zen Guide To Life

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, in fact just
f**k off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
flat tyre.

3. The darkest hour comes just before dawn. So if you're going to
steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It only becomes really important if you aren't
getting any.

5. Don't aspire to be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you
can't be promoted.

6. Remember that nobody is listening until you fart.

7. Remember that you are unique, just like everybody else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. if you think that nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try
missing a couple of mortgage payments.

10. If you find that you never succeed at the first attempt, avoid
skydiving.

11. Have you ever lent somebody £20 and you never see them again? It
was probably worth every penny.

12. Some days we are flies, some days we are windscreens.

13. Remember it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad
judgement.

15. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

16. There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman.
Neither one works.

17. Experience is something you never have until just after you really
need it.

18. We are born naked, wet and hungry and we get smacked on the bum.
From there on in, life gets worse.

19. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

20. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark
side, and it holds the universe together.

21. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.

22. Be nice to your children. They'll choose your nursing home.

23. A day without sunshine is like night.

24. A bird in the hand will, inevitably, poo on your wrist.

25. The man who claims to be the boss in his own home will lie about
other things as well.

26. Wedding anniversaries are always closer than they appear on the
calendar.

27. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.

New photos

Well the photographs have finally been added to the icphotographs.com website - hope you like them :-)