Back to work or ...

... Why, oh why, didn't I take the blue pill?

Ian went back to work after a month off on the 2nd of January and was quite busy in the morning doing lots of proofs for Material Science that Bruce didn't have time to do before Christmas. Hardly anyone was around as most, including Emma at MSM, had taken the day off. One consequence is that many hundreds of documents need proofing & printing in a week for the start of term. And that's not counting the Computer Lab stuff.

Also had to call an engineer for the colour machine that Bruce broke the handle off on the 19th of December (too much OJ at the Xmas party?).

Luckily it was quiet in the afternoon & did get to see 1 of the family of rats that have moved in under the air-con units,

Lou spent all day in bed, finally venturing out after Ian got home, for cat food & beer.

Big news of the day was Gerrard confirming he would be leaving Liverpool after 17 years with the club. The end of an era & 1 of out greatest ever players who dragged us to new levels, scoring in every domestic & European final and taking home the trophy each time. Just a shame our defence fell short at the end of last season & Gerrard couldn't have the 1 winners medal that always eluded him.

2015 Day 1 - food fails

Slept way into 2015 (1st time in many years I've slumbered into a new year).

We'd planned to go to the Mitre for breakfast. Checked opening times of pub online & also of Sainsbury's as needed food for Friday. Both said they were open. So we headed off about 10.30.

We went to Sainsbury's to find it was closed (as was M&S) then back to the Mitre. Ths was also shut (there was sombody who looked like they were the cleaner inside).

So no breakfast & no nosh for return to work. Arse.

Also Lou managed to smash yet another wine glass this evening. She really is the doom of silicon dioxide products.

Memorable 2014 things

Memorable things from 2014

• Ian sitting in a 1926 Model T Ford
• Going to the Mad hatter's T Party & joining the Gangs of New Lincoln
• Watching the Tour de France come through Cambridge (by the Round Church)
• Ian defending the gin from fiendish aliens
• Going to St Ives Beer festival (and, as steampunks, being contractually bound to sup "Kraken's Ink")
• Liverpool coming 2nd, thrashing Le Arse 5-1 on the way (including a devestating first 20 minutes when we put 4 past them)
• Longitude 'Punked etc in Greenwich
• Ian getting cliped by a car on the way to work
• Meeting Jamie, Magz etc in Ely (in the Liberty Bell)
• Going on a beer tour of local area: 50ish pubs & a number of breweries in a square mile. Also that Loren lives where the dung heap used to be
• Watching "Blood Swept Lands & Seas of Red" being constructed in the moat of the Tower of London
• Watching Philae land on comet 67P
• Professor Elemental onstage in the Portland Arms & offstage in the garden (losing his pith helmet for a while to a random girl)
• Getting into Widow Culen's Well in Lincoln & discovering it's a very cheap Sam Smith's pub
• Being astonished at F1 cars all having 'nosecocks'
• Visiting Bedford and seeing a lovely church with Elizabeth
• The' Flying Display' at Lincoln Castle
• Ann & Ben becoming parents along with Scott & Bex
• Lou & co going to Newcastle to place Cath's ashes in the Tyne
• Lou having a glamour photo session in St Ives
• Ross Noble & 'tickling a pokemon'
• Hiding under the rail bridge in Ely when it was chucking it down (and weird sensation when trains went overhead)
• Watching Kath Burrows invent an unusual, nay unique, method of psyching out tea duelling opponents 
• Getting our photos taken with an old plate camera (and old wet print processing) 
• Watching Oscar Pistorius getting found guilty of manslaughter live from South Africa
• The 25th anniversary of Hillsborough

Just some of those we've lost in 2014

Eusébio, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Shirley Temple, Tom Finney, Harold Ramis, Tony Benn, Sue Townsend, Bob Hoskins, Jack Brabham, Maya Angelo, Rik Mayall, Eli Wallach, Alfredo Di Stéfano, James Garner, Robin Williams, Lauren Bacall, Richard Attenborough, Joan Rivers, Richard Kiel, Acker Bilk, P. D. James, Billie Whitelaw, Joe Cocker, Elena Baltacha, Jane Bown, Warren Clarke,  Gabriel García Márquez, Peaches Geldof.

2015 will be a duller place.

WTF?!?

The best piece of photobombing ever!

Blind Salesman

A woman goes into Harrods to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

She doesn't believe him, but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10lb line. It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this week for £44."

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor "Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.

As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed but then realizes there is no way the blind salesman could tell it was she who had farted.

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be £58.50 please." The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for £44. How did you get to £58.50?"

He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11 and the Fish Bait is £3.50."

West Cambridge Problems 1

The UCS is moving to West Cambridge. That's fine. the problem is the printroom is supposed to be going with it.

That means that I'll be 5 miles away from half my job. I was asked about this by another (senior) member of the department. I said nobody had either asked or told me.

On top of this the printroom will be shrinking to about 20% of it's current size.

And we don't know if there will be:

• Adequate power for the big production machine. 
• Enough network sockets (all offices, we found out this morning, will have 3 + phone).
• Whether the suspended floor will take the half a ton of equipment that we use regularly.
• If there will be the legally required minimum of 11 cubic metres of space per person (http://www.hse.gov.uk/contact/faqs/roomspace.htm_)

Or whether there will be enough work:

• two of our big customers are remaining in the city centre.
• 60%+ of our work is for outside customers, many of whom wont travel.
• the idea that other departments already there wont have made printing arrangements is fanciful. At best.
• I've been told that we should only be doing internal work. There simply isn't enough work for 2 people (and guess who will be out 1st). 

I don't know if anybody has bothered to inform Ricoh, who own the machines. I'm sure they would want to do a site survey to make sure ventilation etc is adequate.