Tiger Roll

Bet on Tiger Roll at Aintree & the horse won it be a nostril!

Got it at 12-1 too so a nice little £85 win :¬)

Things my brain asks at 4am

If an male astronuat had a wank in the ISS, would he shoot backwards as his spunk went the other way (equal an opposite reaction)?

Similarly, would they float back and forwards whilst giving themselves a hand-shandy?

Would the jizz just float about or would it conglomerate into a ball?

A way to make draws more interesting

Just thought of a a way to make UEFAs inordinately prolonged semi-final draw more interesting: 6 balls, 4 of which contain the team names, 1 of which contains a 100 carat diamond & 1 that contains a homicidal mini-velociraptor who hates noses. I'd watch that!

In fact, this system should be enforced for any and all football draws world-wide.

I can see it now: "Number 25, Cambridge who beat Manchester United in the last round are at home to... Arrrrgh!..... Arrrrgh!.... Get it off me...!"

The worst claim for 'non-baldness' ever

Tosspot in the Isaac on Friday night said he wasn't bald, he actually had "theoretical hair"!

2018 Death List - updated

• Peter Preston
• Cyrille Regis
• Dolores O'Riordan
• Hugh Masekela 
• Peter Mayle
• Jimmy Armfield
• Ursula K Le Guin 
• Mark E. Smith
• John Mahoney 
• Emma Chalmers
• Sir Roger Bannister
• Davide Astori 
• Trevor Baylis 
• Sir Ken Dodd 
• Victor Kalashnikov
• Stephen Hawking
• Jim Bowen
• Arnaud Beltrame
• Bill Maynard
• Winnie Mandela 
• Ray Wilkins 
• Ivan Mauger
• Eric Bristow
• Dale Winton 
• Verne Troyer 
• Baroness Tessa Jowell 
• Margot Kidder 
• Peter Stringfellow 
• V. S. Naipaul 
• Barry Chuckle
• Tony Bullimore
• Mary Ellis
• Ellie Soutter
• Peter Firmin
• Leslie Grantham
• Eunice Grayson
• Aretha Franklin