A good summary of yesterdays farce

Maybot goes rogue

Good question!

Paul Savill:

Theresa May just said she is going to Brussels to seek assurances. If she didn't have those assurances previously what basis for a deal / future did she think she had?

Vote deferred

Saturday: We're not going to defer the vote'. Sunday: We're not going to defer the vote'. Monday morning: We might defer the vote. Monday afternoon: We're deferring the vote. #StrongAndStable my arse! #BrexitChaos

Guy Verhofstadt is confused too!

When a bloke who had to deal with dickheads David & Domenic but still managed to get something done has no fecking idea what's going on ... #BrexitChaos

"Meaningful Vote" delayed by swivel-eyed loser

So she's chickened out of a vote she was likely to get twatted in.

Just so she can cling on to office for a day or two more. Maybot is #inOfficeButNotInPower.

I'm guessing that Maybot is going to go to Brussels & beg on bended knee for a change in the withdrawal agreement that the EU27 have said they wont renegotiate/change under any circumstances. Isn't it good that we have "Strong & Stable" government.

Brexit Chaos Morning 1

So Dominic Raab, the bloke in charge of the department responsible for the Brexit Withdrawal Agreement. has resigned because he can't back the deal his government got. You couldn't make it up!

Now the execrable Esther McVey has also quit to spend more time lying to parliament (or more than now). She's one minister who wont be fucking missed. #Shitehawk

Remember when renowned pig-enthusiast Cameron warned of "chaos" if Ed Milliband won the election or when Maybot kept insisting that she was "Strong and Stable"? Seems like a bye-gone age now.

Deaths 2018 - Updated

• Peter Preston
• Cyrille Regis
• Dolores O'Riordan
• Hugh Masekela 
• Peter Mayle
• Jimmy Armfield
• Ursula K Le Guin 
• Mark E. Smith
• John Mahoney 
• Emma Chalmers
• Sir Roger Bannister
• Davide Astori 
• Trevor Baylis 
• Sir Ken Dodd 
• Victor Kalashnikov
• Stephen Hawking
• Jim Bowen
• Arnaud Beltrame
• Bill Maynard
• Winnie Mandela 
• Ray Wilkins 
• Ivan Mauger
• Eric Bristow
• Dale Winton 
• Verne Troyer 
• Baroness Tessa Jowell 
• Margot Kidder 
• Peter Stringfellow 
• V. S. Naipaul 
• Barry Chuckle
• Tony Bullimore
• Mary Ellis
• Ellie Soutter
• Peter Firmin
• Sergio Marchionne 
• Leslie Grantham
• Eunice Grayson
• Aretha Franklin
• Neil Simon
• John McCain
• Liz Fraser
• Burt Reynolds
• Kofi Annan
• Burt Reynolds
• Fenella Fielding
• Enzo Calzaghe
• Dudley Sutton
• Dennis Norden
• Geoffrey Hayes  
• Charles Aznavour
• Monserrat Caballé
• Ray Golton
• Stan Lee
• Jean Barker (Baroness Trumpington)
• Nicholas Roeg
• Bernardo Bertolucci
• Harry Leslie Smith
• George Bush (Snr)
• Paul Sherwin
• Pete Shelley
• Sondra Locke
• Paddy Ashdown 
• Wendy Beckett
• June Whitfield

A brexit thread on article 50 by Edwin Haywood

The truth about Brexit

The maddest in the room

Wondering if Trumplethinskin has recovered from his encounter with off-his-tits asshat Kanye yet. It must have been a novel experience for the White House: for the 1st time in his presidency the Mango Mussolini wasn't the maddest person in the room.

Torquay Tosspot

The EU is punishing us for deciding to leave by making us experience the results of leaving whines a moon-faced twat in Torquay.
Elsewhere, thickie twins Davis & Johnson attempt to out-arsehole each other.

That's this country's political 'elite' folks.

Coalition of Chaos?

David Davis wants a cabinet rebellion, Leadsome is 'considering her postion' & lying arsehole McVey is poised to get away with murder too by quitting.

And, despite being bunged a billion, Foster wants to bring down the government too. Remember when the Tories were attacking Labour as "The Coalition of Chaos"?

They have redefined the term.

Brexit Broadcasting Corporation

The government's mouthpiece, the #BrexitBroacastingCorporation are no better than the Kremlin's 'Russia Today'. The only thing Orwell got wrong was the date. #MinistryOfTruth

The royal schlong works Part 97

The UK is heading towards a disastrous cliff edge Brexit, the NHS is crumbling, the Met appears to be refusing to investigate crime, people are being starved and/or made homeless by this cruel & vindictive government but rejoice peasants!
The royal schlong works!


While the media are going into a forelock tugging frenzy over an former actress having a sprog, has anybody checked what horribly embarrassing policy announcements or statistics the Tories have sneaked out today?

#AGoodDayToBuryBadNews

A lesson for Maybot

Maybot getting a lesson in politics today: even if you bung a bunch of loathsome religious nutters a billion quid you shouldn't be surprised when said nutters decide to behave in a way that's guaranteed to fuck you over anyway. #DUP #TheresaMay

2018 Death List - Updated

• Peter Preston
• Cyrille Regis
• Dolores O'Riordan
• Hugh Masekela 
• Peter Mayle
• Jimmy Armfield
• Ursula K Le Guin 
• Mark E. Smith
• John Mahoney 
• Emma Chalmers
• Sir Roger Bannister
• Davide Astori 
• Trevor Baylis 
• Sir Ken Dodd 
• Victor Kalashnikov
• Stephen Hawking
• Jim Bowen
• Arnaud Beltrame
• Bill Maynard
• Winnie Mandela 
• Ray Wilkins 
• Ivan Mauger
• Eric Bristow
• Dale Winton 
• Verne Troyer 
• Baroness Tessa Jowell 
• Margot Kidder 
• Peter Stringfellow 
• V. S. Naipaul 
• Barry Chuckle
• Tony Bullimore
• Mary Ellis
• Ellie Soutter
• Peter Firmin
• Sergio Marchionne 
• Leslie Grantham
• Eunice Grayson
• Aretha Franklin
• Neil Simon
• John McCain
• Liz Fraser
• Burt Reynolds
• Kofi Annan
• Burt Reynolds
• Fenella Fielding
• Enzo Calzaghe
• Dudley Sutton
• Dennis Norden
• Geoffrey Hayes  
• Charles Aznavour
• Monserrat Caballé
• Ray Golton
• Stan Lee

Stuck between the ERG & the deep blue sea

Maybot is screwed & she knows it. Her party will wield the knife sooner or later as:

1) She says fuck Brexit & gets toppled by the ERG & DUP

2) She says screw the country & plows on with Brexit and gets toppled by Remain-supporting MPs.

Either way her premiership is fucked.

Vetoes

One thing Maybot in her haughty arrogance has forgotten: the EU Parliament has a veto on any deal she may manage to negotiate (as do the other states) and is likely to view her immigration plans badly (as will other states). So #NoDeal it is then.

How to recruit youngster to the Tories

To make sure that she can no longer be accused of racism, Theresa May today decided to impose a "Hostile Environment" on the entire population of the UK.

And some of the aging, brainless gammon's in Birmingham think bringing back hanging will persuade the young to vote Tory. 

Though 2 very stupid cocksplats think they have the answer: bring back hanging & invading/colonsing Africa again.

To think that these abortions who climbed out of the bucket are allowed to vote!

Bannon Playbook Boris

Johnson is using the 'Bannon/Trump playbook (the "Lock Her Up" chants are coming).

According to many #Brextremists the Good Friday Agreement doesn't matter, so the EU should troll him by saying he's inspired them to build a wall along the Irish Border & they'll make the UK to pay for it.

Let's see how their latest stinky arse guff plays on both sides of the border.

Opportunity Denied

A Bonfire of Red Tape

The Tories post-#Brexit wet-dream: to 'deregulate' red-tape like maternity pay, employment laws, equality laws health & safety laws, consumer protection laws.

An offshore, low-regulation, no-tax tax haven to compete with the EU. It'll be trumpeted as a 'Bonfire of Red Tape'.

Maybot on Immigration (again)

One thing Maybot in her haughty arrogance has forgotten: the EU Parliament has a veto on any deal she may manage to negotiate (as do the other states) and is likely to view her immigration plans badly (as will other states).

So #NoDeal it is then.

[Actually, this has lilely been the plan all along as it means that the #Brexshitters can blame the EU for their cock-ups.]

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No downside

Funnily enough, I don't remember the #Brexshitters mentioning a loss of the right to live & work in 30 countries among the "There will be no downside to Brexit, only a considerable upside." (David Davies 10/10/16).

Siri

'Siri show me what a lying tosspot talking bollocks to the massively gullible looks like'.

Where the government's been heading for years: A Thread.

Festival of Post Brexit Britain Revealed

Ryder Cup

As Europe wins the Blowhard, OutFoxed, Bowel Disease, Dildo Dave and the Member for the 18th Century insist that the UK could have not only won it without the EU players but, based on events many decades ago, that the Americans would help us win by a bigger margin too.

Mind you, Umerica's biggest mistake was not selecting the Mango Mussolini as a wild card. The Tangerine Tosspot has spent the vast majority of the last two years practising too. #RyderCup

Michaelmas Term

"Drums. Drums in the deep ... They are coming." #MichaelmasTerm

Hunt The Leader

When the Jeremy Hunt looks like a credible leadership candidate for your party you've got a serious problem. This cretinous arse once nearly brained a woman with a bell on the live TV.

Dogwhistle stupidity

Jeremy Hunt’ referring to the EU as the USSR (after previous Foreign Secretary called them “Nazi’s”) will upset a lot of the very people we need to get any kind of deal.

Goodwill and trust are hard to earn, easy to carelessly chuck away. And this is after Maybot demanded “Respect’ from the EU!

Brexit wet dream

A no-regulation, low wage, 3rd world state with US corporations cherry-picking the most lucrative patients from an enfeebled NHS is more than a political wet-dream for melt's like JRB, Fox & Johnson.

It's the ultimate goal of #Brexit.

https://bit.ly/2D7s6pP

2018 Death List - Updated

• Peter Preston
• Cyrille Regis
• Dolores O'Riordan
• Hugh Masekela 
• Peter Mayle
• Jimmy Armfield
• Ursula K Le Guin 
• Mark E. Smith
• John Mahoney 
• Emma Chalmers
• Sir Roger Bannister
• Davide Astori 
• Trevor Baylis 
• Sir Ken Dodd 
• Victor Kalashnikov
• Stephen Hawking
• Jim Bowen
• Arnaud Beltrame
• Bill Maynard
• Winnie Mandela 
• Ray Wilkins 
• Ivan Mauger
• Eric Bristow
• Dale Winton 
• Verne Troyer 
• Baroness Tessa Jowell 
• Margot Kidder 
• Peter Stringfellow 
• V. S. Naipaul 
• Barry Chuckle
• Tony Bullimore
• Mary Ellis
• Ellie Soutter
• Peter Firmin
• Sergio Marchionne 
• Leslie Grantham
• Eunice Grayson
• Aretha Franklin
• Neil Simon
• John McCain
• Liz Fraser
• Burt Reynolds
• Kofi Annan
• Burt Reynolds
• Fenella Fielding
• Enzo Calzaghe
• Dudley Sutton
• Dennis Norden
• Geoffrey Hayes  
• Charles Aznavour
• Montserrat Caballé
• Ray Galton
• 
  

'Letter boxes' & 'Bank Robbers.

I’m not sure how Mr Johnson’s latest publicity-seeking article [where he said women wearing Islamic garments such as the niqab looked like letter boxes and/or bank robbers] advances the only thing that motivates odious Boris to do anything: his overarching ambition to become PM. Oh yeah!

Dog whistle politics to the (far)right-wingers, as per chapter's 1 through 20 from ‘The Book of Bannon’.

Errrr ..

Best banner ever?

May & Macron

"See that field over there? That's the one you ran through but now it's been sown with a new crop."

"But it's empty."

"I know. It's sowed with all the fucks Angela & I give about you."

Easiest deal?

So Lying Liam, when are those German carmakers going to ride to the rescue and force everybody to do this easy deal?

All the cards

Unfortunately for Mendacious Michael it turned out that 2 of the cards were Mr Bun the Baker, 1 was the Ace of Spades, 3 were from Exploding Kittens & the remaining 2 were from Cards Against Humanity ...ce..

Water falling from the sky!

There’s something weird falling outside the window. There’s a lot of it too! 

From 'Easy' to 'Stockpiling'

It’s amazing that we’ve gone from ‘the easiest deal in history’ to stockpiling food, medicine, blood etc in just over 2 years. And we haven’t even crashed out with no deal yet with all that implies for citizens here and on the continent (all rights to live where they live end) & businesses.

Rationing

Looking forward to receiving my new burgundy ration book from the Government. I don’t have a car or eat meat so will be able to swap petrol & gammon with somebody. Will take veg, fruit, ibuprofen and weaponry in exchange. #NoDealBrexit

Project Fear P2

I’m wondering at what point #ProjectFear morphs into #ProjectTerror?

Is it when we start stockpiling food, when big multinational manufacturing firms move production or when we are fighting for the last fried rat in the kingdom?

No Deal Brexit Pt 334

40+? You are unlikely to ever see the upside of #Brexit (assuming there are any and we discover them after the 50+ years that Jacob Rees Mogg predict’s it’ll take).

Under 40? Your opportunities/jobs/rights are going though your kids/grandkids may live to see the ‘Sunlit Uplands’.

Put that on the side of a fucking bus

Jeremy Cunt

"UK public will blame EU for No-Deal #Brexit" says Jeremy Hunt.

No you gormless spunkthrostle: we’ll blame you & the rest of the brainless melts in the Tory Party for crashing the economy off a cliff for ideological reasons & to enrich yourselves & your backers.

Even a particularly thick turbot can see it’s the fault of you and you chums, you brain-damaged wankbadger!

Thickie lies...

To be fair, Dreadsome Leadsom isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer & she's got a long history of spouting lies (eg her 'CV') & assorted other bollocks. She once praised Jane Austin as one of our finest living authors ...

Bad faith = lies

Theresa May will renege on her agreement with the EU for a backstop arrangement she signed in December.

The EU27 will surely see this as bad faith.

Why would they EU side continue to negotiate with somebody he repudiates any agreement she signs 6-8 months later?

A #NoDealBrexit is coming.

Squatting Boris

I see that Boris Johnson is still squatting in the grace & favour flat that goes with the job of Foreign Secretary. Much like his views on #Brexit the member for Uxbridge & South Ruislip wants to have his cake & eat it without any of the 'responsibility' thing impinging on cake-related activities.

The Mango Mussolini

Funny to think that this time last week I was on my way to London to protest against the Mango Mussolini.

If you dont back me ...

"If you don't back me, JEREMY CORBYN WILL BE PM" - shrieks Theresa May. Hmm .... A man who wants a fair society, to properly fund the NHS, to re-nationalise the railways, to make the wealthy pay a little more tax and not have everything their way...

What a truly TERRIBLE prospect.

Well that Cabinet ‘unity’ agreed on Friday didn’t last long!

David Davis resigned on Sunday night. Not that anybody would care as he'd done the square-root of fuck-all after Maybot realised what a pigs ear he was making of negotiations.

Then, instead of chairing a meeting on the Balkans, designed to show that we can be trusted in a post-Brexit world (and on the day a UK citizen died in a chemical attack) Boris Johnson quit too.

The narcissistic spaffer even invited a photographer in to capture him signing his resignation letter. While he was arranging this, No 10 spiked him by announcing he was quitting.

It's a measure of the man Johnson is that despite the inflicting further punishment on a UK citizen in Iran, the death of another in a chemical attack & the fact he was supposed to host a conference on the Balkans designed to bolster the UK's reputation he trashed, that resigned over an inter-party fued because he feared being out-flanked by David Davis. 

Jeremy Hunt is now the UK's public face and his first big task is to welcome the tiny-handed, lying, racist, sex-pest that Theresa May so inadvisably invited over in a desperate attempt to ingratiate herself with the new administration. Talk a babtism of bollock-fire!

CCHQ & bare-faced cheek

On the 2nd of July the odious Tories peddled a blatant, barefaced lie, claiming credit for measures on package holidays that's actually come from the EU!

I fixed it for them & let them know I'd done it for free.

Putting aside the way that @CCHQPress was "economical with the actualité" in claiming that it was them, not the EU who introduced new package holiday rules, I want to hear if they plan to keep them post March 2019.

Grenfell Tower

 The Grenfell Tower Fire had all the threads:

·      Huge inequality in the country’s richest borough.

·      Emergency services cut to the bone by ideologically driven austerity

·      Emergency workers who hadn’t had a pay rise in years but still ran towards danger

·      Work that used to be done by the public sector contracted out to private sector (with shareholders demanding a profit)

·      To save a few pounds the council fitted flammable panels that looked better to the tower’s wealthy neighbours

·      A government that repeatedly kicked into touch better building regulation as ‘unnecessary red tape’

·      A party with over 70 landlords also voting against making homes ‘fit for human habitation’

·      A PM who looked cold an callous at the time and who’s since turned her back on the victims

·      To date many are still in “temporary accommodation”

·      The prospect of anybody ever being held to account is, at best, years away but more likely will never happpen