Blind Salesman

A woman goes into Harrods to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

She doesn't believe him, but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10lb line. It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this week for £44."

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor "Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.

As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed but then realizes there is no way the blind salesman could tell it was she who had farted.

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be £58.50 please." The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for £44. How did you get to £58.50?"

He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11 and the Fish Bait is £3.50."

West Cambridge Problems 1

The UCS is moving to West Cambridge. That's fine. the problem is the printroom is supposed to be going with it.

That means that I'll be 5 miles away from half my job. I was asked about this by another (senior) member of the department. I said nobody had either asked or told me.

On top of this the printroom will be shrinking to about 20% of it's current size.

And we don't know if there will be:

• Adequate power for the big production machine. 
• Enough network sockets (all offices, we found out this morning, will have 3 + phone).
• Whether the suspended floor will take the half a ton of equipment that we use regularly.
• If there will be the legally required minimum of 11 cubic metres of space per person (http://www.hse.gov.uk/contact/faqs/roomspace.htm_)

Or whether there will be enough work:

• two of our big customers are remaining in the city centre.
• 60%+ of our work is for outside customers, many of whom wont travel.
• the idea that other departments already there wont have made printing arrangements is fanciful. At best.
• I've been told that we should only be doing internal work. There simply isn't enough work for 2 people (and guess who will be out 1st). 

I don't know if anybody has bothered to inform Ricoh, who own the machines. I'm sure they would want to do a site survey to make sure ventilation etc is adequate.